I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i just had sex bonerless
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize