Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
