If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
