My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
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