I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
