you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
