Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Randomize
