people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
