so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
