I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
