You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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