Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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