Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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