Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize