Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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