Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
