end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
