summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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