He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
