I'm really into asian looking animals
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
