Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize