I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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