The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
