I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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