dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
