The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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