Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
