thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize