We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
