So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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