its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
