Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
