there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
