People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
