Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Randomize
