The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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