:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
