I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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