STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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