So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
