i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
