i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
