Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Randomize
