i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize