So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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