It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
