Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
