Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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