Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
