I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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