well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
