okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
