Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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