There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
