he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
