I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I didn't shave. On purpose
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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