U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
