It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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